Wednesday, July 08, 2009
Good Enough
I hesitated, but if I don't share the complete picture, then what good does the example of a life hold for real people who are experiencing real highs and real lows, and everything important inbetween. In short, Emerson said: "Be silly. Be honest. Be kind." So Emerson would encourage my honesty. For what it's worth.
I had a very kind, very knowledgeable editor/agent offer to take a look at my writing at the urging of a very dear mutual blog-friend. Two examples of two worth-while people who are willing to do something kind for someone with no payoff for themselves. Incredibly kind of the agent in fact, because she doesn't agent novelists yet reached out to provide insight anyway.
The editor/agent gave me a few great ideas, and basically reminded me that the publishing industry is still in an economic crunch. Publishers are not publishing as many books, and they are not taking many chances. My gay characters and their stories do not fit into the proven profitabillity margin. Romance with a sci-fi or fantasy flavor doesn't scream Tw*light profitability if there are gay characters. And wouldn't you know it, no one in my books has the last name Pott*r.
Publishers need retail marketability, and they need to know where to shelve you. And even though there have been other successful books published (still in print, too) that are exactly my slice of pie, it was ages ago. So all that exhaustive research I did to find other profitable examples doesn't really do any good if the books weren't published in the last five or so years. The publishing world has changed.
So I look at my options.
I suppose I would consider the option to quit writing what I love, what I believe in... if I hadn't already had three professional opinions over the last 5 years (a publisher, an agent and an editor) each tell me that I'm good enough. If I'm a good writer, then there's nothing wrong with me. It's the world that's broken. And as a gay man, it would be naive and wasteful if I spent my energy and time on complaining that the world was broken.
I could wait for the world to catch up to me.
But I'm not good at waiting. Not while there's at least one pin and one haystack still left to be sorted. I will find that agent willing to take a chance. I will find the person who understands that most women and gay men (possibly a few stray straight men) will read a novel if it has engagingly relatable characters driven by the desire to find love and success, and propelled through an intriging, imaginative and solid sense of story-telling. No matter the genre. No matter the economy. No matter how broken the world is.
Write what they want, what's already on the shelves.
I can't write bitchy urban romance with soft-p*rn s*x scenes. I can't write p*rn romance novels. I'm not interested in writing mysteries, gothic gay vampires or gay urban comedies that already fill the shelves. It's just not me. And there are enough books about coming out, dealing with aids and finding self-esteem. I have to write what I feel. My passion, as the very kind editor/agent put it. :)
It would have been easier if I'd had lots of knowledgeable people tell me I'm not good enough and that I should give up. But... if there are three professionals out there who have told me that I'm good enough, then there will be four. Or five. Or ten. How silly it would be for me to give up just because I hear people telling me that there aren't enough gay people or straight women who who read sci-fi romance? There are 304 million people in the United States. If 10% are gay, that's 30 million. And there are at least another 30 million women willing to read books with gay characters. I only need a couple hundred thousand out of 60 million to buy the book for it to be considered profitable. Someone out there actually try to convince me that's not possible! I dare ya (save your breath)!
So my only real option: keep writing, keep searching, keep being happy doing what I'm doing. And above all else, keep being grateful for my life. It's not a race.
(Emerson would approve, I think)
Onward,
~Shephard
Labels: Writing
posted by Shephard @ 