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Monday, December 14, 2009
Decorating My Memories
I asked B the other day if he thought that liking sparklie things was genetic. Might sound like a bizarre thing to ask someone, but I was thinking... where the heck did I get this and why? Nature/Nurture? It certainly wasn't nurtured, though it might be a response to counter my boring childhood. Before you go there, I'll save you the trouble: I don't actually think it has anything to do with being gay. I know plenty of gay people who aren't drawn to sparklie or colorful things. And as far as I know there aren't any magpies in my family tree.
This weekend, we watched the movie "Fantastic Mr. Fox," and then B ended up buying the soundtrack, which contained an eclectic mix of stuff including 3 Burl Ives songs. They triggered memories for me, and thru iTunes I found a CD version of an old LP I had as a child. I listened to every single sample, and it brought back the strangest melancholy... I remembered what it felt like to be me back then, listening to those songs in my drab bedroom and boring childhood.
I'm sure there are kids who would have found the quiet boredom of my rural childhood soothing. But not me. At age 4, I had already decided to help my parents out by peeling off the hideous wallpaper in my room (while standing in my crib... yep, I actually remember doing it). As a child, whenever I was sick, my dad bought me coloring books, and I'd color every single page. Birthdays and Christmas usually meant more coloring books. And I loved felt-markers, and had a Pentel set of 72 colors (I still do). Something in me was pushing me towards all that color.
Funny how those Burl Ives children's songs conjured melancholy memories. I realized, that the memories that will now be conjured in my far-off twilight years will not be the melancholy ones from childhood, but rather, the ones from my colorful, adventurous and expressive adult life. If I continue to decorate my memories, when I look back, what I'll see will be full of life and color. Granted, I do get made fun of once in a while for liking sparklie things or bright colors, but that's ok, because I won't be remembering that in my old age. I'll just remember the colorful life I've had.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
posted by Shephard @ 