![[title of show]](http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b285/ShephardSummers/titleofshowsm.jpg)
Sunday, August 30, 2009
Little Pink Tongues
It's the little things in life that mean the most ...
... like little pink tongues.
Labels: Cats, Cats: Golly
posted by Shephard @ 
Friday, August 28, 2009
Insist on Enjoying Life
It's been a long month. Usually I love my birthday month. But... usually August doesn't contain a week of having an awful cold (hiding it on my bday), Splenda poisoning, 101* temperatures, a sabotaged computer, a new computer which came sabotaged with Windows Vista, a writing deadline I might not meet, brushfires that choke the air, a husband who is working long hours, broken glass porch lanterns, electrical repairs and did I mention Splenda poisoning?Am I an idiot to be so happy then? Who cares, I'm happy. :) Things may slow me down, but I'm still breathing. I win.
I suppose when you get sick, you naturally appreciate the simple things. Chicken Soup. Muppet Show Reruns. Take out. Quiet time. Enjoying a chance to annoy telemarketers ("Sure, I'll take your survey, as long as I can answer 'pineapple' to every question you ask me."). Furballs who want to sleep on your lap. Friends who care. Sickness or not, that sounds like a pretty good life.
Whatever I'm dealing with, it just seems a bit lighter if I insist on enjoying it. Within Reason. See that "within reason?" I've learned in my years of blogging that if I don't qualify something like that, it pushes some people's buttons and they feel the overwhelming need to point out to me that my statement is a gross generalization that is leaving out some serious exceptions. Like I don't realize that having serious illness or devastating sadness isn't an exception. So... within reason, I have enjoyed being sick and learning that Splenda is the culprit. I have enjoyed a quiet telephone and a chance to think deeply about some of the things you've been reading in the Alley here.And I've enjoyed visiting this kitty's website: *Maru Kitty*
If I miss my deadline, it's ok. There will be other writing submissions. If the house isn't perfect before our friends from France arrive, they'll understand and won't care. If I get invitations I can't accept, I'll be honest and not feel badly for disappointing people (that's harder). I might say no. Or yes emphatically. It will be the right and healthy answer for me at the time. If I can't make every event on every calendar, or make room in our schedule for everything, it'll be okay.
Those who truly know and understand are going to be fine with it. And frankly those who don't are not on my list of "must understand" because they will insist on being victims anyway. I realize that I have gone most of my life making other people's understanding a major priority. How exhausting! I think I'll work on changing that. Anyone out there is welcome to remind me too.
I'm going to have a wonderful weekend now. :)
Why, why does this make me laugh every time I run across it? Every time.
A young woman gets on a bus with her baby.
The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen!!"
The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a older woman next to her: "The driver just insulted me!"
The older woman says: "Don't let him get away with that! You go right up there and tell him off! Go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
Happy Friday, Happy Weekend Everyone,
~Shephard :)
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
Not So Splenda'd
** UPDATED at end of post** I allegedly have Splenda Poisoning.
On the off chance this might affect you, I'll share. :)
Luckily, I only had a couple of the severe symptoms, but they were SO specific that I'm personally pretty sure of it. Bloodshot eyes for no reason. And then wham, 9-hour stomach ache. Hot boiling stomach for 9 hours. I couldn't sleep. I still can't eat. To be clear, I'm sure it's because of the amount of Splenda I ingest... 3 pops a day. Every month and a half or so I'd get this burning tummy thing that would last a couple days. Just figured it was indigestion. I feel like I know the culprit now.
My body finally had enough. I started feeling weak and sick and my eyes were bloodshot for no reason. B bought me DIET cranberry juice with Splenda (I always drink Cran when I'm feeling under the weather). The worst thing I could have done. I kept B up all night, I was so sick. 12 hours later, I'm still very weak. Still can't eat.
Luckily, I only had a couple of the severe symptoms, but they were SO specific that I'm personally pretty sure of it. Bloodshot eyes for no reason. And then wham, 9-hour stomach ache. Hot boiling stomach for 9 hours. I couldn't sleep. I still can't eat. To be clear, I'm sure it's because of the amount of Splenda I ingest... 3 pops a day. Every month and a half or so I'd get this burning tummy thing that would last a couple days. Just figured it was indigestion. I feel like I know the culprit now.
My body finally had enough. I started feeling weak and sick and my eyes were bloodshot for no reason. B bought me DIET cranberry juice with Splenda (I always drink Cran when I'm feeling under the weather). The worst thing I could have done. I kept B up all night, I was so sick. 12 hours later, I'm still very weak. Still can't eat.
The culprit? Splenda apparently contains lots of free chlorine in it, whereas most things have chlorine reacted with and attached to other elements or molecules. Free chlorine, being reactive, can and apparently does, cause harm. The body allegedly can't metabolize this chlorine. OSHA has warned that synthetic forms of chlorine can burn your internal organs. I'm no science guy... my physicist friend Ashley helped me understand a bit more clearly. If you'd like to decide for yourself, or begin the process of figuring out what info is accurate, I'll include one link. There's a host of information. I leave it to you to do your responsible research:
http://www.splendaexposed.com/
http://www.splendaexposed.com/
My tummy is not happy, but at least it stopped hurting. You'd probably have to overdo Splenda as much as I did to get a similar reaction. But maybe not. Everyone's bodies are different, more or less sensitive and as we all know, science keeps making new discoveries. All I know is that the moment B gave me the Diet Cran with Sucraose, it was like kerosine on a fire. And if sharing this info can prevent someone out there from going through that, I'm happy to propose the idea that maybe we should look more closely at avoiding Splenda.
UPDATE:
8/27, I'm feeling much better. No other symptoms other than those ascribed to Splenda reactions, so no worries about gall bladder or pancreas or anything else. I'm reasonably certain my tummy has been thru a Splenda ordeal. I'm on the mend. I will logically be avoiding artificial sweeteners and, heaven help me, diet soda. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise... just the shove in the right direction I needed. I'm holding that thought.
8/27, I'm feeling much better. No other symptoms other than those ascribed to Splenda reactions, so no worries about gall bladder or pancreas or anything else. I'm reasonably certain my tummy has been thru a Splenda ordeal. I'm on the mend. I will logically be avoiding artificial sweeteners and, heaven help me, diet soda. Maybe this is a blessing in disguise... just the shove in the right direction I needed. I'm holding that thought.
~Shephard :)
Monday, August 24, 2009
Ready, Willing and Able
My new computer sits behind me.
I won't mourn the passing of this one. It has done its level best to make the last chokingly-slow moments of its life as exasperating as it could. My new computer could eat this one for lunch. And if possible, I'd let it. I suppose it's the law of the Digital Jungle.
Change is slowly saturating every area of my life now. I'm glad. Sometimes I think of myself as a house in a crowded neighborhood. I can completely renovate the interior without the other houses being aware. Only the people I invite in will notice the renovations. It's that kind of change.
This might be the cold or tummy bug speaking, but I'm starting to think I don't like juggling as much as I used to. For so long, I thought I was so good at organizing and managing and resourcing. Be careful what you say you're good at.
Of course, it all subsides after B finishes the girl with the fabulous follicles. It's a blessing to see that there is an end in sight (it's going to be spectacularly beautiful, and also very funny). But I don't think either of us knew what we were in for. B stepped up to the plate on the puppy dog project, and he knew he had to make a quality movie almost faster than it has ever been done (quality). 18 months is NOT enough time to do a quality an*mated film without frying half the people on the movie. But then, with just publicity left on that production, B leapt from one moving vehicle to another into the same exact troubled situation with blondie. They gave him a month off at Christmas. We naively thought that would be plenty (who really rests at Christmas?).
We thought, it will be easier the second time around. Less surprises with a situation that has enormous talent and experienced, seasoned people who've just been through the same, and know what needs to happen. We thought, we know what to expect with the schedule and demands and since we were already balancing it all, it would feel the same. We were just dead wrong. Every movie is different.
B and his partner N really are gifted at what they do. I watch them juggling people, personalities, problems, solutions and doing so with such restraint, grace, humor and kindness that sometimes I wonder if the people involved even notice the effort it takes them. The level of ingratitude surrounding them is a bit shocking sometimes. I couldn't do it. I don't suffer the insensitive, unjust and thoughtless so gracefully and skillfully. B keeps his eye on the big picture and stays fluid enough to rapidly move through all the possibilities. Which is rather like juggling 4 cats and 1 mouse.
The Universe has a way of exhausting us so we let go sometimes. I'm at that point. I physically can't keep all the balls in the air any longer. I notice I'm more apt to say exactly how I feel now (in a nice PC way if possible). I don't always have the energy to explain to those who don't understand. I'm less likely to wait for others to validate my choices or feelings. I don't ask for permission to like what I like anymore, or enjoy what I enjoy, be who I am, or choose what to do with my time. I'm more apt to make healthy choices without lengthy explanations and apologies. My energy and time is precious, and I have a hubby to watch like a hawk, making sure he's healthy and taking care of himself. I have to let some of the balls drop out of the air.
Actually, that all sounds pretty healthy, doesn't it. It only took me getting so tired that I let go my deathgrip on life's control panel. Funny how life works. I'm not waiting for New Year's 2010. I'm ready to make changes now. I'm able to make them now. And, yes, willing too.
Starting with my new computer. I'm going to try to install it myself (hold positive thoughts for me).
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
When Worlds Collide
iTunes Today: a host of delightfully unhip tunes
LA Weather: Gray, Sunny, Gray, Cool
Last Night: Sushi & Good Company
Our Cats are currently: blissfully unaware of how annoying computers can be
LA Weather: Gray, Sunny, Gray, Cool
Last Night: Sushi & Good Company
Our Cats are currently: blissfully unaware of how annoying computers can be
Socialnomics is the term being given to the rapidly morphing and exponentially expanding Social Networking phenomenon... aka... Facebook, Twitter, YouTube, Blogging etc.
I am at the brink
ready to plunge over into the abyss
from which there's no return.
And I'm wondering
what do all of you think?
ready to plunge over into the abyss
from which there's no return.
And I'm wondering
what do all of you think?
I love blogging.
I can reach out into the world, make a difference, lift my own spirits, work through issues, find kindred spirits, post adventures, and in general, share on a deeper level than I do with most of the people in my near vacinity. Blogging keeps me sharp, keeps me writing, keeps me honest, and keeps me plugged in and thinking.
I can reach out into the world, make a difference, lift my own spirits, work through issues, find kindred spirits, post adventures, and in general, share on a deeper level than I do with most of the people in my near vacinity. Blogging keeps me sharp, keeps me writing, keeps me honest, and keeps me plugged in and thinking.
Facebook. It's more than a popular craze.
I know some of you out there scoff (dare you to watch the video at the end of this post). But I'll just say that for me, it has helped me connect with people in meaningful ways on a daily basis. Facebook strengthens bonds and builds social bridges and relationships. So I won't be giving it up. It's fun. People who say that only people who don't have a life use Facebook are speaking from unawareness, and for some, maybe fear. Like any tool, it is what you make it, what you do with it. Is it necessary or valuable for everyone? Nope. :)
I know some of you out there scoff (dare you to watch the video at the end of this post). But I'll just say that for me, it has helped me connect with people in meaningful ways on a daily basis. Facebook strengthens bonds and builds social bridges and relationships. So I won't be giving it up. It's fun. People who say that only people who don't have a life use Facebook are speaking from unawareness, and for some, maybe fear. Like any tool, it is what you make it, what you do with it. Is it necessary or valuable for everyone? Nope. :)
Some of you may already be standing next to me at the brink.
Or maybe you already jumped?
Or maybe you already jumped?
As the search engines become more and more entwined with Facebook, Twitter and blogging, it gets harder and harder to shield my little corner of the bloggisphere from what may be the inevitable Socialnomic invasion. In short: my dilemma is the reality that some of the people in my life may get to know me on deeper levels from reading my blog, the way many of you have, and it's a very vulnerable place to be because... relationships and opinions change with more information.
Some people admire compassion. Some people see it as weakness or rampant liberalism. Some people don't like people who form their own opinions. . . and voice them. People need to label other people. Some people are very attached to beliefs and political views that stay nicely tucked away, allowing people they know to carry on perfectly social happy relationships with them without opening up a can of worms (or whoop-ass). That changes if people can access these personal sides of you and your world.
Likely the only people I'd ever offend are those either unreasonable or in denial (their denial is none of my business) about human compassion and civil rights, common kindness, courtesy, and being responsible for your beliefs and choices. Same ole same ole. I'm not terribly worried about offending reasonable people. There's another layer. Facebook embraces all relationships equally regardless of depth. And Facebookers can easily find my blog if they try. So just how comfortable am I that perhaps some of B's workmates will find my blog, read my personal thoughts, and then arrive at their own conclusions (which they're entitled to) about who I am. . . when I will continue to know nothing more about them at all? And this will reflect on B as well. They're all lovely people, don't get me wrong. But it's information that I won't even know has been shared.
That's the age-old badge of courage worn by every writer. Writers are more exposed. It's inevitable. I'm serious about my writing, about my craft that I work so hard on, and about the things that are positive influences in my life. Blogging is one of them. Facebook is another. They support my mental & emotional health and are fantastic sources of cheer, friendship and unlimited resources.
I suppose I never take "the point of no return" with a grain of salt. Once I step off the edge, that's it. Me, my blog, my life, are wide open.
I'm going to be brutally honest here now... I think about people not understanding who I am, not understanding kindness, compassion (it's cool to be bitchy and cynical, ya know), judging me, how gay, how liberal, how unreasonable. I hear people who claim they don't care. They're lying to themselves. We all care. I do think about how their opinion of me will reflect on B a lot as well. I am so careful to keep my public foray safely separate from his. But that is going to get harder and harder.
So. Do I jump? Do I take the plunge? Cuz it getting tiring having this thing you hoard and protect and sheild all the time. To have to think about it, to write every post with this in mind, to think about each photo I choose to post etc. 4 years of blogging is about to change.
Whether I link my blog to Facebook or not, people can and will find it. So perhaps it isn't an issue really. Perhaps the CHOICE is the same as it has been from the moment I realized I was gay: to hide my light under a bushel, or to boldly claim: "Ain't this my sun, ain't this my moon, ain't this my world to be who I choose?"
Worlds are colliding. Things are changing. Watch *THIS* amazing short clip on YouTube (that a friend shared on Facebook, lol) and see if it doesn't make you think.
And by the way... what does one wear when one jumps into the abyss?
~Shephard :)
Monday, August 17, 2009
House Your Dreams Well
**NEW JAPAN POST BELOW THIS ONE**
* * *
iPod Today: "Chasing Cars" (Snow Patrol), Shawn Colvin CD's
LA Weather Today: Decidedly Nice
Last Night: Spaghetti & Science Channel
Our Cats are currently: just entertaining enough to distract me from hucking this crappy computer through a wall or beating it with a table lamp
***********
I've known we're not staying put in this house for a long time. So my thoughts turn to the future... a new house.
It's not something I talk about often unless with close friends, because plenty of people don't even have a house, and so talking about it sounds ungrateful. When I do mention it, people look at our house -- the exterior, the outsides, the insides, the surface, the wrapping -- and think we're nuts because we've done a very good job transforming this house. But they don't *live* in the house. And they don't live in our skin.
(Cindy Crawford's house on Billionaire Beach) 
(below: anyone want to live above a chocolatier?)
There are so many things about this house that make it hard to live in for us personally, and they require money or extreme discomfort to fix. Some issues aren't adaptable to what we want in a home... because of the age and style of the house. And why go through all that ... if it's not the house you want to spend the rest of your lives in?
We're both very thankful for what we have. And we continue to dream about the things that give our future a little sparkle.
We've known we weren't staying since about the 8th month of living here. But we've learned a lot living in this house for 5 years, and we will be able to make a really good selection next time. We know what comforts us better now.
CA is one of the worst states to live in if you want to move or buy a house. It's beyond ridiculous, and I don't think we would be able to manage without B doing so well. Plain and simple. So again, I'm doubly grateful. :)
But I can't help wistfully thinking about a future that might hold interiors and exteriors like these... and nothing like these. I've always wanted an open and cheery home, that was warm and welcoming, and unabashedly proud of it's colors.
(zoom)For now... dreaming of color and comfort and noticing the things that make daily life easier are key to creating what we're looking for. And just think... when it's finally time to start looking, guess who gets to see a whole bunch of photos of the houses I'm looking at?
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Sunday, August 16, 2009
Super Mega Duper Mondo Kyoto Post
How'd we get to Kyoto from Tokyo?
The Shinkansen - Bullet Train of course!
The Shinkansen - Bullet Train of course!
The Japanese believe in cute uniforms.
Our second day in Kyoto, we visited HEIAN JINGU (shrine).
Amazing buildings and beautiful ponds and gardens.
Prayer trees. :) Those are little white pieces of cloth (or paper?) tied to the branches, with prayers written on them, I believe.
Below... one of my favorite photos from the trip... several people were about to mosey into the frame and I was praying my camera could get it in time. . .
Behind those large orange buildings... beautiful gardens!
I thought of Kenju & Wendy when I took these Iris photos...
We fed Koi from this bridge. :)
For Wendy :)
This was an actual wedding taking place. :)
Are you people zooming? You should be.
Our hotel in Kyoto (Hotel Okura Kyoto).
View of the floor below as we walked from our room to the elevator (that took us down to the lobby)
Hotel buffet breakfast. They had crisper bacon for westerners (pictured), and soggy floppy raw stuff for the locals (bleh!). And they probably think the same in reverse. :)
The shopping in Kyoto is exhausting. I'm not kidding! And I don't get tired of shopping easily. I have a super shopping threshhold, but if you look really carefully, you can see the lights bending over the horizon... this shopping arcade was a maze. We got tired and then it took us 1/2 hour to find a way out!
Ok... read the name of the taxi. No, read it fast. lol Coincidence?
Coppertone?
Cute uniform for Guest Services in the Takahashimaya Department Store.
I want WILD HEALTH too!!
This must be what they're talking about....
Um... you're welcome.
Behind those large orange buildings... beautiful gardens!
I thought of Kenju & Wendy when I took these Iris photos...
We fed Koi from this bridge. :)
For Wendy :) 
This was an actual wedding taking place. :)Are you people zooming? You should be.
Our hotel in Kyoto (Hotel Okura Kyoto).
View of the floor below as we walked from our room to the elevator (that took us down to the lobby)
Hotel buffet breakfast. They had crisper bacon for westerners (pictured), and soggy floppy raw stuff for the locals (bleh!). And they probably think the same in reverse. :)
The shopping in Kyoto is exhausting. I'm not kidding! And I don't get tired of shopping easily. I have a super shopping threshhold, but if you look really carefully, you can see the lights bending over the horizon... this shopping arcade was a maze. We got tired and then it took us 1/2 hour to find a way out!
Ok... read the name of the taxi. No, read it fast. lol Coincidence?
Coppertone?
Cute uniform for Guest Services in the Takahashimaya Department Store.
I want WILD HEALTH too!!
This must be what they're talking about....
Um... you're welcome. (I'm sorry. I couldn't help it)
A real Pachinko Arcade!! The din inside was deafening. This isn't even the whole place, it curves around a corner in the back!
SANJUSANGENDO - Temple of 1001 Bronze Buddhas.
1001 Buddhas & 2 Tired Tourists.
NIJO PALACE:
(home of The Shogun, aka Shogun Palace in Kyoto)
I don't have any photos of the huge fat stone walls, but I do have this close-up detail. I loved the details.
Beyond the moat and inside the walls, another entrance... into the main courtyard....
Underside of Entry....
Palace...
Of course, I wasn't allowed to take photos inside... but it was definitely worth it. Beautifully painted walls and ceilings and mannequins showing you what their lives/costumes were like.
KINKAKUJI - GOLDEN PALACE!
Even Hello Kitty likes The Golden Palace.
Yes. The outside is completely covered in real gold-leaf. I *think* our guide said it was last refurbished in the 80's. Still looking shiny today!
Looks like an engagement ring ad, doesn't it....
It was so shiny, it hurt my feelings. Gorgeous.
Next, two unrelated photos I thought to share, but my photos from these places didn't merrit a series....
I left the above photo a bit larger, in case someone
wanted it as their screen saver. :)
Above, is an 86 foot tall Buddha Temple, specifically a memorial to Japanese & US soldiers who died in the war (RYOZEN KANNON Memorial). I wish we could have visited, but we didn't have time... I took this from a moving car on a sideroad up a hillside.
KYOTO was every bit as fun at night. . . on our 7th day in Japan, we couldn't eat one more piece of sushi, so we walked, found Italian (surprisingly ok pizza) and then strolled the shopping street (above example) and found ice cream and photo ops (below).
(storefront)
KYOMIZU TEMPLE:
A real Pachinko Arcade!! The din inside was deafening. This isn't even the whole place, it curves around a corner in the back!
SANJUSANGENDO - Temple of 1001 Bronze Buddhas.
1001 Buddhas & 2 Tired Tourists.
NIJO PALACE:
(home of The Shogun, aka Shogun Palace in Kyoto)
I don't have any photos of the huge fat stone walls, but I do have this close-up detail. I loved the details.
Beyond the moat and inside the walls, another entrance... into the main courtyard....
Underside of Entry....
Palace...
Of course, I wasn't allowed to take photos inside... but it was definitely worth it. Beautifully painted walls and ceilings and mannequins showing you what their lives/costumes were like.
KINKAKUJI - GOLDEN PALACE!
Even Hello Kitty likes The Golden Palace.
Yes. The outside is completely covered in real gold-leaf. I *think* our guide said it was last refurbished in the 80's. Still looking shiny today!
Looks like an engagement ring ad, doesn't it.... 
It was so shiny, it hurt my feelings. Gorgeous.
Next, two unrelated photos I thought to share, but my photos from these places didn't merrit a series....
I left the above photo a bit larger, in case someonewanted it as their screen saver. :)
(Ryoanji Zen Garden)
Above, is an 86 foot tall Buddha Temple, specifically a memorial to Japanese & US soldiers who died in the war (RYOZEN KANNON Memorial). I wish we could have visited, but we didn't have time... I took this from a moving car on a sideroad up a hillside.
KYOTO was every bit as fun at night. . . on our 7th day in Japan, we couldn't eat one more piece of sushi, so we walked, found Italian (surprisingly ok pizza) and then strolled the shopping street (above example) and found ice cream and photo ops (below). 
(storefront)
KYOMIZU TEMPLE:
Some of the best views in Kyoto
Usually the building are brightly colored, but it takes them time to refurbish them after the colors fade... So you see some bright, some fade. It was kinda neat seeing both.
A real working dragon fountain :)
Love the details....
...and the view.
...and the Ramen soup we ate *every* day! Kyoto is, after all, a college town (120,000 college students!) .
When in Rome...
(Kyomizu Temple, looking over Kyoto)
Usually the building are brightly colored, but it takes them time to refurbish them after the colors fade... So you see some bright, some fade. It was kinda neat seeing both.
A real working dragon fountain :)
Love the details....
...and the view.
...and the Ramen soup we ate *every* day! Kyoto is, after all, a college town (120,000 college students!) .When in Rome...
(Kyomizu Temple, looking over Kyoto)You're probably tiring of Japan posts a bit, as evidenced by the dwindling comments. But Japan was one great surprise after another, and I just had to do it justice as best I could with (count 'em) 10 posts!
Can't wait to go back. So much more to see in Tokyo & Kyoto!
Can't wait to go back. So much more to see in Tokyo & Kyoto!
If you **missed** any of the posts, here are the links:
and
Hope you enjoyed!
~Shephard :)