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Monday, March 22, 2010
I Will Believe Them When I See Them
"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."
~Emerson
~Emerson
It's taken me most of my adult life to fully comprehend what that quote can mean if you truly take it to heart and implement it into your life. Oh sure, the meaning is obvious. And we always nod or heads knowingly in retrospect. But... I'm certain it's a shortcut few people are dedicated enough to take.
I had a lunch conversation with a friend yesterday, where she mentioned introducing herself to someone new in a social situation. That person never bothered to give her their name, and then proceded to talk about themselves nonstop. It was all about them.
Well. That's all the information she needed at that point to know what kind of friend this person knew how to be. Though she confided in me that she hoped she wasn't being too extreme, too rash in that decision. I said I didn't think so at all. It reminded us both of another favorite quote, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time." (Maya Angelou).
No matter how many excuses I give for that person or how much charitable slack I cut them, they've told me by their choices where their head is, and in the end, if I fail to pay attention, I have no one to blame for the situation but myself. Oh, I'm not talking about rash choices about casual social situations, but the decisions about the time I spend with people in my life. The time that counts.
No matter how many excuses I give for that person or how much charitable slack I cut them, they've told me by their choices where their head is, and in the end, if I fail to pay attention, I have no one to blame for the situation but myself. Oh, I'm not talking about rash choices about casual social situations, but the decisions about the time I spend with people in my life. The time that counts.
Maybe being 45 makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe having an overworked husband who has barely any free time makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe a lifetime of attempting to carry more than my share of most relationships makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe the political climate of the last 9 years has made me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe having selfish, invasive and insensitive relatives makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
I could go on. But the message life is sending me is clear: no more wasting the gift of time. Because it's a temporary gift. And shame on me for taking it for granted. No one forced me to do any of the above. It was my choice.
Maybe having an overworked husband who has barely any free time makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe a lifetime of attempting to carry more than my share of most relationships makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe the political climate of the last 9 years has made me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe having selfish, invasive and insensitive relatives makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
I could go on. But the message life is sending me is clear: no more wasting the gift of time. Because it's a temporary gift. And shame on me for taking it for granted. No one forced me to do any of the above. It was my choice.
I give myself persmission to stop wasting time. And that makes me so very happy. I think of this, I breathe in the responsibility of it all. I've gone most of my life feeling I'm obligated to share explanations and justifications and words. My friend and I have reached the same crossroads, I think. We're done being held hostage to that unwritten social expectation. So from now on, we're going to "...believe them the first time."
And to retro-fit this perspective, I will choose how I spend my time much more carefully. And I'll be weeding through all the words to watch for the more truthful, more reliable actions.
And to retro-fit this perspective, I will choose how I spend my time much more carefully. And I'll be weeding through all the words to watch for the more truthful, more reliable actions.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
posted by Shephard @ 