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Monday, October 04, 2010
Apples and Oranges
I know I've written about how we are all a bit miscast in everyone's else's movie as they see us rather than as we truly are (you can read that post *here*)... a concept I got from reading The Fifth Agreement, sequel to The Four Agreements. But there are days when I actually feel like I'm just a bit player in someone else's movie... waiting for my turn, enjoying a brief bit-part of appreciation, then retreating back into the wings. Like I'm the cameo people enjoy, but ... just a cameo nonetheless.
What I'm really saying, is that I assume a lot based on how I perceive the behavior of others, and then take things personally about what I assume. Breaking two of the agreements in one fell swoop.
I don't really like what I'm assuming or the way it makes me feel. So why do I do it? Since I don't know for sure that I'm regarded as a less significant role, why shouldn't I assume a positive explanation for the behavior I observe?
-- putting on thinking cap --
What would that positive spin be?
I have a hard time thinking of something frankly. And I refuse to accept that. Out of the blue, a favorite lyric by Indigo Girls pops into my head: "Seems easier to push than to let go and trust." Sigh. I'm pushing my own agenda of friendship onto the natural flow of what the relationship really is. I'm trying to cast them in a role maybe they don't fit. I'm miscasting them. And then I am disappointed when the movie doesn't quite live up to my hopes. Oh.
I think accepting that an apple is an apple, and an orange is an orange, might be fundamental to personal serenity. A large part of peace and satisfaction is acceptance. Not resignation. Not settling for less. Not giving in or giving up. But finding true appreciation for what the apple is, and not comparing it to the orange (and vice versa).
I'm better at this some days than others.
Doing anything else is not fair to the apples and oranges frankly. And I get happiness, acceptance and peace of mind out of this acceptance.
Don't make assumptions about the apple. See and appreciate the orange for what it really is.
I will remember more often not to take it personally that an apple is not an orange.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Four Agreements
posted by Shephard @ 