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Thursday, January 28, 2010
Thursday's House & Home 01
The search for a house is full of adventure.
And our adventure is just beginning! For us, we hope the next house will be the one we settle down in for 10+ years. I haven't lived in the same house for longer than 6 years since I was a kid. So, it's time to be selective and do plenty of research. None of which I'm going to bore you with.
And our adventure is just beginning! For us, we hope the next house will be the one we settle down in for 10+ years. I haven't lived in the same house for longer than 6 years since I was a kid. So, it's time to be selective and do plenty of research. None of which I'm going to bore you with.
Lucky you... you just get to see the photos! :)
We are setting our sights on a ranch style house, tho we're keeping our minds open to other possibilities. Preference is 1 level. But this one has only the master with its bath upstairs, so that's not so bad.
Living room (you're seeing a brick counter lower left)
Looking through the living room into the dining room.
The dining room. With a brick wall and floor. And a curious built-in with stained glass windows (that remind me of Shakey's Pizza Parlor).
Looking back into the living room from the dining.
Really cheery kitchen! (looking thru to the front door, which is wide open)
Brick floor. Strike 1. It's rough, uneven, and would have to come up. I can't imagine this family and it's child (who is still using bottles) living here... how many scraped knees has the child had? Brick floor in a kitchen. And also the dining room. Wth?
Farm sink! Love it!
And I almost swallowed my tongue when I saw the kitchen banquette/booth. I've always wanted one. I have a signal with my realtor/friend... when I love something a lot, I say "Pineapple!"
Looking back at the other end of the kitchen, just left of the banquette. Stairs leading to master. But look at that bar... BRICK. Wouldn't you just love to rest your elbows there?
Up some cheery stairs to the very soothing master (balcony too), with its bath just the other side of the landing.
Very nicely done. I love subway tile... so clean (we have it in our master bath).
No tub. Strike 2. And possibly 3. (I take baths. Daily)
Back yard had a jacuzzi, a built-in-grille and this really nice sun porch area. Very private.
The real strike 3... they wanted at least $75,000 MORE than it was worth (considering I saw other homes nearby on nicer streets for less with MORE square footage!!).
It was 2000 square feet, 3 bed, 2 full bath. Loads of charm. But dealing with traffic in the canyon its in would not have been fun. I saw a garbage truck come down the road, and hit 5 garbage cans (because it's so narrow), and he didn't even stop. A fire engine would be forced to do the same... including any cars in the way.
It was 2000 square feet, 3 bed, 2 full bath. Loads of charm. But dealing with traffic in the canyon its in would not have been fun. I saw a garbage truck come down the road, and hit 5 garbage cans (because it's so narrow), and he didn't even stop. A fire engine would be forced to do the same... including any cars in the way.
Brick floor ($$$$ to rip out and replace), no tub in master, not my favorite locale and it was priced too high.
But the overall character and charm of this lovely home gives me tremendous hope for finding something that will be right for us. I can't wait to see the next one.
~Shephard :)
Labels: House and Home
posted by Shephard @ 
Monday, January 25, 2010
Gardening 101
I have a garden. And in that garden, I tend my life.
(Yes, this metaphor, tho cliche, is going somewhere....)
I water and feed it with my habits and fears and beliefs. And although it has to weather the unexpected storms the Universe throws at it, for the most part, I do have a lot of control over the quality of what matures and "bears fruit." I have control over how tidy or overgrown it is. I can choose not to compare it so mch with other gardens. I can control the weeds if I pay attention and stay vigilent.
(Villandry Gardens, France)
We don't always like to hear this when things aren't going the way we want them to. Just like a gardener doesn't like being invaded by rabbits or bad weather or the unexpected. Things we can't control do happen. But I'm not talking about the tragedies and mishaps (earthquakes, disease, misfortune etc). I'm just thinking about the control we have over the lion's share of our day-to-day lives. It's so easy to get sucked into the drama and victim beliefs around us.
Last week, I realized I was carrying around all this discontent and disappointment; I had planted so much worry for the future. And it caught me by surprise. I sat quietly and took it apart, attitude by attitude, and began to see that I was feeling so helpless to change the present. But carrying this in the present was damaging the seed I plant for tomorrow. I let go of it. I looked to the horizon. I began planting a better attitude. I remembered that I feel better when I trust the process, trust the future. Even tho the current events of my life don't always feel very trustworthy.
Best not to waste my energy on decrying life's storms and unpleasant incidences (he says as it starts raining out his window... ha ha, Universe, very funny). I really need to focus. When I plant a bunch of seeds, something will indeed grow. I'll keep the rabbits and weeds out (the negativity of others, the doubts I am prone to, the impatience and disappointment).
The more I focus on a healthy garden, the more I have to harvest and share with others. And just when I'm not expecting it, there's that amazing event that grows so unexpectedly in my life. Sometimes few and far between, but always a reminder to keep believing in the process.
Or to quote Conan O'Brien this last week:"I hate cynicism... It doesn’t lead anywhere. Nobody in life gets exactly what they thought they were going to get. But if you work really hard and you’re kind, amazing things will happen. I'm tellin' you, it's just true."
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Monday, January 18, 2010
Parental Guidance Suggested
It's hard to type this between thunderstorms, but then again, I often do my best thinking "between storms." :)Perspective is a lightswitch that can illuminate any situation.
I got (quietly) mad at the selfish behavior I was witnessing mostly because it was dismissive toward me, making me feel devalued.
That was the situation. Later, I was processing it with B, and he asked me if I would have felt dismissed/devalued had the person been 9 years old? And I said, no, because I know a child doesn't have the awareness I do, and I would not have been worried about the affect someone else's 9 year old child can have on my life and well-being. They wouldn't do it if they knew better. Just like a child wouldn't do something if they knew better. They are unaware of it. But the second half of it is the amount of value or power I give this person's behavior. And, well, we all know I'm in complete control of that and 100% accountable for how it affects me.
I remembered how devalued I felt as a child, when my needs, wants or opinions never mattered, when I felt as though I had no say in what happened to me. Parents have all the control, but good parents help the child understand, and make the child feel like they're not along just for the ride. And so I realized here I was in this situation above feeling like that devalued child. But the reality is that the person's choices and behavior were actually more child-like than mine.I can choose to feel like the parent... having compassion or at least understanding of the childlike behavior that is affecting me. Essentially... be the adult not the child.
This isn't exactly new information for me. But ... the degree to which I am willing to let go... feels fresh and new (and welcome). I will try to remember to be the adult who is witnessing child-like choices or behavior.
Would I get mad at a baby for throwing up all over me? Then why get mad at someone else who doesn't know any better than to let their behavior throw up all over me?
Perspective truly is my lightswitch.
~Shephard :)
(this post does not refer to situations where healthy boundaries are crossed; that would have a different appropriate response)
Monday, January 11, 2010
The Year of Closure
I was talking to my friend Jessica about my recent ephiphany: having one foot in the past and one foot in the present had been keeping me from moving forward. So Jessica and I were talking about how this year would be about moving forward, and she'd been hearing the same from people she knows. She said she felt it was a year of Closure for everyone. And when she said closure, a bell went off in my head.
It's not that this new year is about leaving behind the old one. We always leave the old one behind. "Leaving behind" does not always mean closure. Closure is a decisive break between the old and new. And that feels so right to me. Though I didn't realize it might be something in the water (metaphorically speaking).
What am I personally leaving behind?
I've been caretaking for the past, the part of me that used to be, the way of doing things that used to work, the person that people used to validate, etc. Juggling too many me's. And I realize that I don't have to make sure others are on the same wavelength if I simply allow msyelf to gravitate to those who already share that wavelength. It's just easier. To move forward, I need to have the energy to focus on where I'm going... instead of using that energy to explain who I've become.
I've been caretaking for the past, the part of me that used to be, the way of doing things that used to work, the person that people used to validate, etc. Juggling too many me's. And I realize that I don't have to make sure others are on the same wavelength if I simply allow msyelf to gravitate to those who already share that wavelength. It's just easier. To move forward, I need to have the energy to focus on where I'm going... instead of using that energy to explain who I've become.
It's not about letting go of things or people at all, but rather embracing who I have become. I'm free from obligation to keep the past alive. Will (for example) my mom notice or even care? No. It's not about making outward changes so much as it is about not needing everyone to be on the same page.
When we come screetching to a hault at the end of 2010, maybe it won't have been all about closure as much as it was about clearing the slate for a year of foundation work. But whichever the case, I have to say when it's time, it's time, and I'm going to hold the idea of a fresh clean break with an amazing and life-changing past decade.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Monday, January 04, 2010
My News
I wish for everyone, a moment when you hold in your mind the reality and knowledge that what you do has value. Of course, who you are will always have value... but... that lovely moment of appreciation and tangeable validation... that's what I wish for everyone.
As healthy as it is to do what you love without need for outside validation and praise, the first minor moment of marked success is a temporary silencer on fears and doubts. Today I heard from a publisher that my short story will be published in a writer's anthology this October. Barring any unforseen changes in said publishing house, just 10 short months from now, my written word will appear in print on bookshelves and can be ordered from Amazon. I'm delighted beyond words!
I've worked so very hard at my craft. The hardest part was not giving up. A painter paints, and everyone sees that he is a painter. A writer writes, but must wait to be published before others pronounce him a writer. So for me, this little short story represents the peeling back of more insecurity, and the claiming of a little bit more of my own self-validation, and first chance most people who know me will get to really see what I work so hard toward.
In the big picture scheme of things, a short-story anthology is just a beginning, a small foot in a very heavy door. And if it takes me another 3 years to get one of my novels pubished, I'll have tangeable hope in my pocket thanks to this short story. Because even if something were to happen to cancel its publication, it doesn't change the fact that a publisher thought my writing was good and wanted to publish it.
Sounds corny, but in this moment especially, I have to say I'm grateful to B, and to Kellie, Jessica, Wendy, Ellen and Davin for encouragement, for believing in me. And for all those of you who read my blog and say such kind things about my writing. You guys made it just that much easier not to give up. Thank you all. :)
Come on 2010, let's get crackin' ... I have more writing to do.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Friday, January 01, 2010
Two Thousand Nine
Really, this post is for Future Shephard, so he doesn't forget what a rocket-ride this year has been. The year was crammed full of firsts, so this post is crammed full of photos. It seems unbelievable to me that all this happened this year. . . .
B was nominated for an Oscar (Academy Award for Best Animated Movie)
We went to The Golden Globes, The Oscars, The Critic's Choice, The Genesis and The VES Awards, each requiring a before and after party and different outfits (oy). Believe it or not, one of the memories that stands out the most is seeing the two young kids from "Slumdog Millionaire" go starry eyed from award to award show, having the most amazing nights of their lives.
One highlight for me: drinking 3 glasses of champagne (key factor) and getting up the nerve to meet and talk to Shirley MacLaine. She has long forgotten, but I'll remember. :)
And of course, the most indelible memories, a.k.a. the blitzkrieg of 2009, the R*p*nz*l auditions and B*lt Press Junkets:
Press Junket in London, England...
Press Junket in Paris, France. . .
A short break between Press junkets ..and we hopped over to Barcelona, Spain with our friend, Clark....
Auditions for R*p*nz*l in New York City (twice)
July Press Junket in Tokyo, Japan, and a sidetrip after with Clark to Kyoto. . .
(see my archive for February and July for full travel photo journals)Other highlights....
Some absolutely dear new friends came into my life in prominant ways this last year. I'm very grateful for them, and hope to continue to get to know them. And, to those of you who seem to enjoy visiting my blog, thanks for the inspiration to share.
And of course, a huge 1st... finally meeting our Paris friends, Kido and Boulu, face to face in the City of Lights, and spending 2.5 incredible days with them... and if that wasn't enough, then getting to return the favor in September, showing them all around SoCal for about 10 days. :)
Seeing 25 theatre productions in London, New York and Los Angeles.
Getting to meet and talk to Alice Ripley after she sang for my hubby.
Getting to hear Betty Buckley, Bernadette Peters, Cheyenne Jackson and Christine Ebersole sing for my hubby.
Having a wonderful visit from our friends, Monty and Mike, and showing them all over Los Angeles in 3 short but fun-filled days (two favorite memories: dinner at Yamashiro, watching the sun set over Los Angeles, and Mike going starry eyed when we sat behind Kristen Davis (Sex and the City) in a theatre.
And a long overdue but short visit from our friend, Charles...
I won't soon forget being in "the Park" at 4am to watch B & N get filmed for a fun R*punz*l "sizzle piece" ... it lasted til 1pm. We were thrashed. But it was fun.
And lastly, a much-needed Palm Springs getaway weekend for friend Theresa's December birthday... very Christmassy.
I gracefully let go of 2009, a bit weathered, but better for it, and gratefully embrace 2010 with high hopes and realistic goals. Happy New Year, Everyone!
~Shephard :)
Seeing 25 theatre productions in London, New York and Los Angeles.
Getting to meet and talk to Alice Ripley after she sang for my hubby.
Getting to hear Betty Buckley, Bernadette Peters, Cheyenne Jackson and Christine Ebersole sing for my hubby.
Having a wonderful visit from our friends, Monty and Mike, and showing them all over Los Angeles in 3 short but fun-filled days (two favorite memories: dinner at Yamashiro, watching the sun set over Los Angeles, and Mike going starry eyed when we sat behind Kristen Davis (Sex and the City) in a theatre.
And a long overdue but short visit from our friend, Charles...
I won't soon forget being in "the Park" at 4am to watch B & N get filmed for a fun R*punz*l "sizzle piece" ... it lasted til 1pm. We were thrashed. But it was fun.
And lastly, a much-needed Palm Springs getaway weekend for friend Theresa's December birthday... very Christmassy.
Plenty of challenges & break-throughs, most of which I can't type here. Hell, I got sick 5 times(!) which I later discovered 3 of them were due to Splenda poisoning. B's schedule wrecked havoc on health, friendships, family and our nearly non-existant social lives as he worked on 2 films at once. I'll always look back at this year as if I was a passenger on an out-of-control wooden rollercoaster.
We couldn't have made it through this year without two of our friends, Kristen & Laura, who watched our kitties while we were all over the map. What's clear reading this... is that we are blessed with a lot of "dear friends." Sincerely.
If "Future Shephard" is reading this on some distant nostalgic day, I hope as he looks at this, he thinks "Gratitude... gratitude... gratitude."
I gracefully let go of 2009, a bit weathered, but better for it, and gratefully embrace 2010 with high hopes and realistic goals. Happy New Year, Everyone!~Shephard :)
Labels: Christmas 2009