Monday, March 29, 2010

Rejection is Protection




I read that little adage on a friend's FB page; it was in reference to dating.
For me, it has an even broader application.

We didn't get the house.
There were 8 people bidding on a house that was priced aggressively (low) which inspired a sharktastic bidding frenzy. We came to the table late, and were able to make a strong bid. But I'm guessing there was Miss Movie Star or Mr. Texas S. Moneybags who thew buckets of cold hard cash their way.

Rejection ... is protection. This wasn't our home. Our house is still out there.
I know some people prefer to see the Universe as chaotic, and more power to them if this makes them happy. But this isn't what makes me happy. So I choose to let my imagination spin in a positive direction.


There could be all sorts of hidden things about that house that would not be good for us. Maybe someone else is more capable of dealing with it.
Who know, the person/couple who got it... may only have 2 years left together, so it will be spent in a wonderful place together.
There could be bad (read: aggressively conservative) neighbors.
So many reasons this house should be someone else's. It's not about fate. It's about choices and values. It's about where we put our intention.
Rejection is protection.


B worried what if a rich person comes along and out-bids us again with the next house? And I said that the positive what if's are just as likely as the negative what if's, so we shouldn't torture ourselves with ideas that aren't real yet. Focus on the positive.

We fell in love with what we thought was the perfect house. And to know that we can have that kind of experience out there is so encouraging. It actually lifts my spirits. It means we'll find it. We're closer now!


We certainly didn't imagine the house we just bid on. Just as we can't truly imagine the reasons it wasn't the right house for us. I can choose to explain away the rhyme and reason, and chalk it up to disquieting randomness, or I can choose to see meaning. Finding meaning keeps my attitude and gratitude in check, and it fuels my energy level and focus. So I choose see meaning.


I was talking to a dear friend about how far away that house was; I wondered if some friends would make less effort to see us because we were further out. She reminded me that maybe that sort of detail would be meant to help us. Those who truly care, won't mind, and will make the effort, and those who don't care as much, won't bother, and will make it easier for us to spend our time more wisely. I began to understand that this little philosophy can apply to so many areas of our lives. Rejection is protection.

Sometimes it's hard to see rejection as a silver lining. We get so attached to what we think is best for us. But I often understand why things didn't work out the way I wanted them to.


It's entirely possible I may be posting certain interesting photos this Thursday! The adventures (and my Thursday House & Home posts) continue!


~Shephard :)

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Thursday, March 25, 2010

Thursday House & Home 06 & 07


I have a good reason for this tardy post. We found a house! We fell in love with one, and the bidding and waiting and hoping has begun.


We won't know if it's ours for a day or two. So, why not distract myself by doing another house post? :) Please forgive the lack of detail, as I didn't have time to put the usual touches on the post.


I'm using mostly the realtor's photos on this one, with some added shots by me ~which should illustrate quite clearly the difference between the wide-angle lens they use and what the room REALLY looks like. This first house, a charmer. Really nicely done. Absolutely tasteful.



..and now my photo to give proper scale:




Dining room.... and the family room you just saw beyond that.


And above, my photo of the dining room.



Really nicely redone kitchen.


Another small dinette beyond the kitchen, and the w/d room on the right.

And now my photos of the kitchen....




I liked the kitchen. Very clean. And I love white subway tile!




This bath was just cute.


Master Bedroom with french doors leading out to a deck.


Master bath. This woman had excellent taste. It may not be warm, but it won't be out-dated any time soon. The window glass is frosted with a crystalized leafy pattern, almost like leaves with frost on them. LOVED that.


The deck. Grand for entertaining. :)




Strike 1: Next to a MAJOR noisy street and an apartment building!


Strike 2: Flow very broken, generally feeling more like a condo.


Strike 3: There was really no cheery office space for me. Big deal breaker, since I spend my days in the home.



NEXT:


This is the perfect example of a really cute home that is damaged by awful photos.


Wide-angle lens again. This kitchen was about as wide as you might imagine it to be.


Very nice tho.




Front door is actually on the left, out of frame.


Roomy circular drive, house set back off the road. Nice.


Cute cabana area off the house. Very tranquil.




The home was actually filled with charming touches and ample signs of a happy energetic family who lavish their child with stimuli and creativity (which made for a bit of a cluttered messy feel). But we didn't mind that.



Strike 1: Odd shaped rooms, small rooms, lack of general flow.

Strike 2: The black faux-fur bedspread on the master bed.

Strike 3: Tiny weird shaped yard you really can't use for anything.




The best part of the house:


"Hi! My name's Yelly! Yelly Von Hollarlotz! You can call me Yelly. Are you going to buy my house? Do you speak cat? I'm five, and like mice and dogs and humans. I'm fluffy. You can pet me. Yes, pet me. More please." (meow, meow, meow, he never stopped talking to us). I could have stayed there just petting him in the back yard. :)





Sigh. The phone still hasn't rung.
Tick Tock. Wish us luck.
But... even if we don't get this most ideal lovely home that we are bidding on, I promise to post photos of it. Wait til you see! :) Open cheery kitchen, charm galore. If it's not meant to be ours, the search continues, and I feel just happy to know that we can find what we're looking for. If we found it once, we'll find it twice! :)




~Shephard :)



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Monday, March 22, 2010

I Will Believe Them When I See Them


"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."
~Emerson


It's taken me most of my adult life to fully comprehend what that quote can mean if you truly take it to heart and implement it into your life. Oh sure, the meaning is obvious. And we always nod or heads knowingly in retrospect. But... I'm certain it's a shortcut few people are dedicated enough to take.


I had a lunch conversation with a friend yesterday, where she mentioned introducing herself to someone new in a social situation. That person never bothered to give her their name, and then proceded to talk about themselves nonstop. It was all about them.



Well. That's all the information she needed at that point to know what kind of friend this person knew how to be. Though she confided in me that she hoped she wasn't being too extreme, too rash in that decision. I said I didn't think so at all. It reminded us both of another favorite quote, "When someone tells you who they are, believe them the first time." (Maya Angelou).

No matter how many excuses I give for that person or how much charitable slack I cut them, they've told me by their choices where their head is, and in the end, if I fail to pay attention, I have no one to blame for the situation but myself. Oh, I'm not talking about rash choices about casual social situations, but the decisions about the time I spend with people in my life. The time that counts.


Maybe being 45 makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe having an overworked husband who has barely any free time makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe a lifetime of attempting to carry more than my share of most relationships makes me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe the political climate of the last 9 years has made me less willing to waste valuable time.
Maybe having selfish, invasive and insensitive relatives makes me less willing to waste valuable time.


I could go on. But the message life is sending me is clear: no more wasting the gift of time. Because it's a temporary gift. And shame on me for taking it for granted. No one forced me to do any of the above. It was my choice.



I give myself persmission to stop wasting time. And that makes me so very happy. I think of this, I breathe in the responsibility of it all. I've gone most of my life feeling I'm obligated to share explanations and justifications and words. My friend and I have reached the same crossroads, I think. We're done being held hostage to that unwritten social expectation. So from now on, we're going to "...believe them the first time."

And to retro-fit this perspective, I will choose how I spend my time much more carefully. And I'll be weeding through all the words to watch for the more truthful, more reliable actions.



~Shephard :)

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Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thursday House & Home 05


Sometimes you can't take your own photos. Sometimes it's an open-house, and there are bodies all over the place making it impossible anyway. Thankfully most homes are doing their own photos and websites now!



I've driven by "the house with the purple wall" more times than I can count, and I always wondered and dreamed about what this $1.7 million house might look like inside.

The details did not disappoint. Open, airy, cheery and bright. Completely renovated by the architect-owner and his wife. 10 years ago, the house was a COLONIAL, if that gives you an idea of the scope of the renovation!



Red wooden door. Want!


Room to the LEFT of the front door... (but the door is actually down on the right in front of the stair railing). And the next photo is behind me....

If you were to go all the way to the end of the room and step down. Very long house.



Back to center... the stairs.

RIGHT into the roomy kitchen. Behind the camera perspective is the long dining table area.



A den/entertaining area in the back of the house. Even tho these are photos taken with a misleading fish-eye lens, this house is VERY roomy. Over 4000 square feet. Pool. FOUR-car garage.

The Master.... beyond the bed is NOT a doorway. Nope. That's to the left. What you are seeing is a TUB that is in a "pass-thru" area between the bed and bathroom. Wow.



Pool with a very private yard.
And now two photos that I actually took:


Strike 1: $1.7 million! So far out of our range it might as well be on Jupiter. I read that this house was bought 10 years ago for $600k. Oy.



Strike 2: Spanish and on two levels. I REALLY don't want a house on two levels. And REALLY don't want Spanish. I'm over it. BUT, this is the sort of Spanish that's high on style and class and would never get old. Beautiful.



Strike 3: Room arrangement. The rooms are kinda broken up and off in odd directions from each other. The house sprawls in every direction. There's no real flow. I want simplicity and flow. It's weird to see a BIG house that has nice size rooms... but is still choppy. And, as mentioned before, I have a slight paranoia about not being able to know what's going on in other parts of the house ("Did you hear a noise in the West Wing?").



But it was a beautiful home that I'd always wanted to see. Which is why I bothered to look at a home so far outside our range and preferences. Wow. :) But seriously... not even for $700k. It would be a bad fit for us.



~Shephard :)

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