![[title of show]](http://i21.photobucket.com/albums/b285/ShephardSummers/titleofshowsm.jpg)
Monday, June 28, 2010
Once Upon A Time. . .
Once Upon a Time.... There was a little boy who loved color and happy things. You could say that he had a sunshiny personality, and this would describe him to a T. And then family and society and life set about labeling that as "not masculine." (Frankly, it's not really feminine either, but it's definitely not macho).
Music became the source of all things colorful and happy.
And that's when my love of ABBA began.
Saturday night was ABBAfest at The Hollywood Bowl. I admit with reluctance that there were indeed plenty of gay people there (it also happened to be Pride Weekend). But I wouldn't say all 18,000 people at the Bowl were gay. (all of the photos in this post were taken at ABBAfest, some of the best Bowl shots I've ever taken)
I was made fun of for liking ABBA as a kid. I never understood that really. Why is it that people think liking ABBA is so gay? Because their music is melodic and happy? You can't blame it on the clothes (lots of bands in the 70's/early 80's dressed flamboyantly), and the two men in ABBA certainly aren't feminine or gay. 
I was prez of my High School's Int'l Club which tried to help foreign exchange students get acclimated. Imagine my shock when we hosted a region dance and all of them, guys and girls alike, actually WANTED ME TO PLAY ABBA. Ya know.. .so they could actually DANCE. Straight people like ABBA too? I was genuinely surprised (I'd brought my ABBA and Donna Summer records, just in case.... good thing, too). 
In 1979, my mom and sister took me and a friend to see ABBA when they did their one-and-only US concert tour. The Voulez-Vous Tour was so much fun, lots of electric blue jump-suits and a children's choir and an Arena filled with 60,000 fans. Clearly all of them weren't gay or European. 
So, I realized that Americans are, once again, sheltered, shallow and homophobic. Quelle Surprise. (I know, straight men don't really say "quelle surprise," unless they're French... but my sexuality isn't really in question here). 
ABBA sold 375 million records globally. Somebody out there likes them and is not admitting it! 
Flash forward to 2010. . . I live in LA and I'm in my 40's and I never thought I'd get to see anything close to ABBA ever again. They are some of the best song-writers ever, IMHO. 
Did any straight people make fun of me for going to see ABBA at the Hollywood Bowl this weekend? In 2010?? Yes, sadly. Apparently, some people think all of ABBA's 375 million records were sold to gay men and straight women. If it makes their world safer to believe that, feel free. :) But how sad that anyone believes music has to be gay or straight. ABBA's music is uplifting, happy and lovely. I guess that's gay to some people. 
(I love this photo, blur and all) 
I know it's probably self-indulgent to post 25 photos of ABBAfest on my blog. But what if there's some young person out there reading who feels badly for liking "fill in the blank?" Hopefully, in a small way, they can relate and feel better. :) 
I know I sure did after attending this concert! They were Europe's best ABBA tribute band! The rainbow lights and Go-Go dancers didn't hurt either. 
I will always love them and their music. As a friend of mine said, "You just can't be sad listening to ABBA." I think the movie and the Broadway musical were just as happy and uplifting. 
(I wasn't sad looking at the Go-Go Dancers either) 
( I hope you're zooming in on some of these... beautiful colors!) 
Last but not least... my favorite photo of the night... an explosion of color like I've never seen!
Once upon a time, there was a boy who loved ABBA, who grew up to be an adult who loves ABBA. As far as I'm concerned, that's a happy ending to this ABBA-tale. It has been an uber-stressful month. This concert lifted my spirits infinitely.
"So I say thank you for the music... for giving it to me."
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
posted by Shephard @ 
Monday, June 21, 2010
The Longest Day of the Year
I'm in two different places at once.
My blogging is so sporadic (explained in the post before this), that I'm surprised anyone out there is still reading, let alone cares. Well, those who don't care, don't read, right? So if you're reading this, thank you sincerely for caring. I often wish there was something substantial I could do to repay the loyalty and kindness I have found in blogging. It's one of the reasons I try to make each post matter.
I am caught between a rock and a hard place, and my gut tells me that it's just the way the world works.
On a higher level, what needs to happen will happen. What needs to resolve, will resolve. The naysayers can call me naive, they can worry about who to blame. Both sides seem to think I'm not looking at the big picture. But truly, I am the only one looking at the big picture. They're panicking, I'm not. The house will either be ours, or it won't be. And if it's not, I will be content to know that it wasn't my fault, and that I did everything I could. But I cannot move the mountain, and I cannot corral the river. So I will let them fight it out, and just make sure I keep swimming. Situations don't create stress, people do. Listening skills are the source of more problems than anything. Now that my eyes are wide open, I'm not going to be so easily stressed by it. My skills... are people skills. And I'm ready to use them when both sides refuse to budge.
On a higher level, what needs to happen will happen. What needs to resolve, will resolve. The naysayers can call me naive, they can worry about who to blame. Both sides seem to think I'm not looking at the big picture. But truly, I am the only one looking at the big picture. They're panicking, I'm not. The house will either be ours, or it won't be. And if it's not, I will be content to know that it wasn't my fault, and that I did everything I could. But I cannot move the mountain, and I cannot corral the river. So I will let them fight it out, and just make sure I keep swimming. Situations don't create stress, people do. Listening skills are the source of more problems than anything. Now that my eyes are wide open, I'm not going to be so easily stressed by it. My skills... are people skills. And I'm ready to use them when both sides refuse to budge.
I sit here eating chicken soup and typing this, surrounded by echoeing walls. I'm not moving yet. I don't know when that will be. But, when have you ever known me to actually WAIT for the physical world to catch to me? I ame charging forward. I am tired of waiting for the physical world to catch up. This weekend, we invited over some friends and fed them and then gave away as much as we possibly could. They all left with cars full.
How does that work? Am I being rash?
Not at all, and it worked beautifully as an excercise in cleansing our lives and embracing gratitude for what we have. We gave away that which no longer supports the direction we're going. It was about more than just a change of decor-style. It was about taking a good look at what we've been hauling around for 6+ years. It took 4 hours to give all that away in the course of a fun, laughter-filled evening with supportive positive-minded friends. What we have left is what we need and want. It was fun. I'd simply haul out an item, a frenzy of hands would shoot up (or not), and then I would let them draw cards, high-card gets the item. So even if we don't buy this house, we have cleared out the old energy, and have made room for the new.
Little did I know when my friend joked about this being the longest day of the year... it would actually feel like it. But it's a sunny day. In spite of everything and everyone, I'm still breathing and happy. I win.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Monday, June 14, 2010
An Honest Example
I have started to post no less than 4 times and had given up.
For the better part of two weeks, I've been up and down the real estate roller coaster, the financial roller coaster, and the emotional roller coaster. When I get off of one of them, I queue up for the next one.
For the better part of two weeks, I've been up and down the real estate roller coaster, the financial roller coaster, and the emotional roller coaster. When I get off of one of them, I queue up for the next one.
I wanted nothing better than to write about the whole ordeal, but stopped myself. What I didn't want was to invite commissery. Or schadenfreude (yes, I do have a potential reader or two like that). But even so, what kind of useful example of trust and faith would I be to anyone reading?
Oh yeah. An honest and human one.
We all know the mess the banking industry got themselves into, and now they try to take it out on us. They can be a nusiance in two ways: with the loan, and with the appraisal (agreeing the house is an accurate investment for them and us). But those are just stories I am telling myself to scare myself. Despite any and all snags, there is continued forward movement with our home-buying process. That is the reality. The rest is just fear.
I have a bright vibrant orange post-it on my computer monitor that says: "Don't be lazy... BELIEVE." Someone saw this, and asked me what it meant. And I said that it's my reminder how effortless it is to go down the If's-and-Buts Path-of-Fear, and that this (just like cynicism) is laziness, plain and simple. Every time I look at it, I straighten up my shoulders and breathe, and I remember that fear is laziness masquerading as doubt & preparedness.
But in some alternate reality, we could lose the house. I'm human, so I have moments where I confront this fear. What scares me is that this house is SO perfect for us. So much so that everyone else notices as well. Without us going into details, they notice and remark how perfect it is for us. How rare it is to find it. My gratitude is full to bursting.
As I walk through my days in our current house, I notice all the old ways that will change for the better, for the simpler, for the happier. It's staggering. It's wonderful! And then I have days on the roller coaster where the perfectness of what we have created scares me. But that's life. Embracing it all as two sides of the same coin is key to enjoying the process.
A good friend reminded me today: Rejection is protection.
I believe that. So I will continue to trust the process and the outcome. If this house truly is for our highest good, and I honestly can't imagine how it can't be, then I'm torturing myself for nothing. But I also realize... picking myself up from this kind of fall will be considerable, because I will likely stumble with it, questioning the fabric of everything.
Things hit snags and take longer in this climate. That is what it is, nothing more, nothing less. I've done everything I can. So for the next week or so, my job is simple.....
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays