Monday, August 30, 2010

Your Own Personal Sliding Scale





I keep The Four Agreements (or its sequel, The Fifth Agreement) handy these days. I have talked to two friends today about the 4th agreement... Always Do Your Best.


The book acknowledges that your best varies day to day, based on how rested, stressed and determined you are. What really speaks to me is the idea that you should be aware that your best isn't this mark you always aim for, but a sliding scale based on the fact that you're human.


(we'll just pretend for the purpose of this post that we all know quite well exactly where that line is between doing one's best and making excuses).

This sliding scale slides because some days we exceed the middle-ground, and some days we fall short of it... and it all balances out.





I see oh-so-painfully how short I fall from the middle that we had a year ago. I'm trying to hold up my end and the end of my over-worked, stressed hubby, and juggle both our lives. It's overwhelming at least once a week. I bet some of you reading this know exactly what I'm talking about.


In our first 22 years, I had seen my husband cry maybe 3 or 4 times. However, in the last year, I've seen him cry twice from the sheer stress that comes from dealing with too many cooks in the kitchen, a disproportionate amount of people who should not be in their jobs, normal frayed nerves and ego-management, an enormous staff of mega-talented, exhausted artists all working on hyperdrive doing phenominally beautiful work ...all making a movie in 21 months, instead of the required 41 months... all riding on B's and his fellow director's shoulders. So... our sliding scale is altered by those around us as well. Most especially by the handful of wonderful friendships B & I have that boost our best immeasurably. People around you affect your best.

What we've been dealing with, and will be dealing with for the next 6 weeks is a level of disregard for human wellfare that borders on abuse. Get it done; we don't care if you get sick. This affects all departments in the process. The difference... B has been dealing with it for almost two years with one 5 day vacation, and each dept. has about an 8 to 15 week run of high-stress. They ramp up into this stress level over that period. B was shot from a canon 2 years ago with no ramp-time on a movie loaded with controversy with the deck stacked against it (and just wait til you see what a laugh-out-loud hilarious, stunningly beautiful, touching movie it is... ).



It sounds rather super human when I put it that way. But it's because I'm amazed and proud at what B and his fellow director and talented crew have accomplished.
Relentless stress. We are in a crunch. We simply cannot do the same best in a crunch that we do in normal times. No brainer right? Comparing the sliding scale of "Our Best" is what makes us feel like a failure. If I compare today with last September's sliding scale, it sinks my hopes and gives rise to doubt and fear, depression and defeat.


I've gained weight because my foot is mending so slowly that I can't do my walking, and we are eating progressively later and later in the evening due to B's crazy schedule, and we're so stressed out we eat comfort food 2 or 3 times a week! Some of my clothes are snug. I want to do my 10k steps so badly, but my foot won't let me ... it's still taped up and healing. I keep doing too much, and reinjuring it. It's an awful feeling, because I worked so hard for 2 years to get and keep 50 pounds off, and gaining 10 or 15 back is spirit-crushing. It feels like failure.

But it's actually success. Sliding scale... I am actually doing My Best to get through a very difficult time. I look at the big picture, and I realize... this is My Best. I see the enormity of what we're dealing with, and I think.... geez, we're still healthy and in one piece and we're still succeeding (moving forward).
So... I'll buy new clothes to wear to the required parties and press junkets. I'll make it work. My foot will heal. And My Best will ramp back up to a place that makes me smile and feel in control again. For now, I'm getting through it and I'm helping my hubby every chance I get. I'm giving him My Best. With every ounce of sincerity and gratitude I can muster, I am so thankful for this new house that buoys his spirit and helps him relax and recharge even a little bit. It's such a quiet and serene place to be. He needed it so badly.


I hope you're all being kind to yourselves, and realizing your own sliding scale of Always Do Your Best.... that it changes every single day. What more could anyone else ask of you than your best? So why would you demand more than your best from yourself?


Doing my best,

~Shephard :)

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Saturday, August 21, 2010

Mid-Century Googling

Imagine me googling Mid-Century Modern (MCM) and coming up with all this at once and being visually and stylistically overwhelmed with choices. This post represents a smattering of choices.

As a style, MCM can be stream-lined, efficient, innovative, funky, cold, wood-heavy, playful, colorful, comfy, angular, and almost always brings the indoors out and the outdoors in.



MCM has an architectural take on furnishing that is fun and usually very comfortable. Lighting and chairs become architecture.



A style within MCM is called "googie" .... think "Jetsons"... too much googie and a place can begin to feel cold or busy or less functional, but just enough and it adds some whimsy and fun shapes.


I'm learning a lot about the form and lines that are so much a part of MCM. Friends have bought us books, and we've found a few ourselves, and it's just fun to explore and figure out what suits our home best (see home photos a couple posts back).

I'm learning about designers like Eames and Heywood Wakefield that shaped and influenced the style, but B and I are both clear on one thing... the house will not define us... we will define the house. It is not about replicating the 50's. It's about blending the style of the house with our own likes. But MCM is such a broad style that this will be easy to do.




I heart the above lamps. :)




Innovation in chair design seems central to MCM. This is called a "Barcelona Chair" ... it's from a $tore called "Design Within Reach." This store is not really about affordable design. I love love love the butterscotch color on this chair. It would fit our palette perfectly.

A good friend has taught us a lot about what a MCM home is all about. Furniture is often low to the ground, like the above couch. It really flatters the lines of a room.


When in Palm Springs a few weeks ago (where MCM not only thrives, but flourishes... to say it's ubiquitous is an understatement), and we found the Shag store. Shag (artist JoSH AGle) captures the hipstery beatnik Euro vibe in his paintings... it's all about fun and spotlighting the MCM style. We can finally buy a Shag print and actually have it look appropriate to our home.


Pay close attention to the furniture in Shag's art.. the epitome of MCM.


This is a "marshmallow couch." We were all about getting one for our home... it would fit perfectly, and is a lot of fun. Then I sat on one SO UNCOMFORTABLE. Not for us.





Shame about this couch. It's just fun.



MCM is chockablock with credenzas. A lot of fun designs. There are warehousey furniture stores here in LA with rooms full of credenzas like the one above... so much variety to choose from.


However... when a room has paneling and all wood furniture, I begin to feel claustrophobic and my childhood starts to stalk me. So I don't think we'll have a lot of (ie...) Heywood Wakefield. Just pieces here and there. Too much wood and it starts to feel oppressively nostalgic and a bit dreary.

We will keep a fun variety. More eclectic... not too cold, not too googie....



So many chairs to choose from...



And if I find a purple couch for my office.... I'll be a happy camper. Or maybe some nice white leather chairs to accent the aqua walls :)



This coffee table with under-magazine rack is kinda fun. I wonder if our kitties would like sleeping on it?


I took this in Palm Springs at a fun shop. The patterns can be a lot of fun to play with, on fabric and wall hangings etc.


So, we'll be doing some bargain shopping, and more visits to Palm Springs. And I'll be posting photos of the fun things we find, whether we buy them or not.

Maybe I'll make a game of it... and post a bunch of pix, and you guys will have to guess which item we bought? :) I'm looking forward to finding one piece at a time.

An adventure begins. :)



~Shephard :)
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Monday, August 16, 2010

My Friends are an Embarrassment of Riches


To get into this house, we had to out-smart banks and navigate people who should not be in service positions, succeeding in spite of the fact that there were 2 higher bids for the house. So many banded together to help us. All this as we swam up-stream in a down-stream market, landing in a house we never thought we could get. Yet having made it through all of that unscathed, it's our friends for whom I am most grateful.

So much support, all the while, I wondered to myself, why are they helping us? That may sound odd out of context, but truly, B and I are ok, fortunate enough to have a solid income and we are happy and healthy. And yet people bent over backwards to help us as if we were survivors of a catastrophe. A friend of mine told me it is because we are kind, lovely people. Very sweet explanation. But for two who have enough, I'm amazed that others stepped in to help so magnanimously.


Sunday, I sat and watched B as he floated peacefully in the pool, holding onto each moment (on pool floats given to us by friends). He's so tired, to the point where even those at his work who are normally (conveniently) oblivous also notice. This house is a joy to come home to. And it buoys his spirit. It will be enough to help him through the final 6 weeks of production and then into the mad-scramble that is press & premieres (that we both dread).

I'm the kind of person who craves (and is possibily addicted to) order and organization. The house helps me breathe easy. It has cupboard space to spare and everything has its place, tucked neatly away, out of sight, leaving clean surfaces. Surfaces, how I love surfaces. I didn't even know I love surfaces until this house. There's something refreshing and clean about this house that just makes me so grateful and happy.

B loves every inch of it; he loves to watch the freeway at a distance of several miles, as it snakes through the night sky like a sparkly river. He loves his office space, and more than anything, for someone who is constantly talking and answering questions, and helping others, and making decision after decision from 9am til 9pm ... he so cherishes the quiet and peace up here.





I am not surprised that these are the very friends whose presence puts me at ease, Around them, I am relaxed, myself, without cautious-thought or careful choice of words. We both can just be, without carrying their expectations, because our friends truly "get" us and value who we are. We've had them over to celebrate us getting in, and my belated birthday of course. But little did they know, B and I were actually celebrating them. Because this house wouldn't be as full of love and kindness without them.

In 3 months, we've lost 2 dearly loved kitties, and gone through 2 months of Escrow-from-Hell. These friends were near, their support enough to get us through it all. I just don't have the words for how grateful I am. So, I will simply say, Thank you, and pay it forward every chance I get.

For anyone reading this, I hope you feel overwhelmed with support and kindness in your life. I can't think of anything more wonderful to wish for you. :)

And maybe free-flowing Appletini's and cupcakes.



~Shephard :)



~Shephard :)

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Friday, August 13, 2010

Without Further Ado....

We're in!

It's been a whirlwind 3 weeks, with all our friends pitching in to make this giant undertaking happen. So much kindness and generosity has fallen our way, it's simply overwhelming. I adore our friends.


Just finished 2 weeks or minor safety reno (updating old house for electrical, etc), and far too many strange men in our house... kitties are adjusted, and all is well, but I'm exhausted!

I don't even have the energy to put nice borders on these photos.... but I didn't want to wait another minute to share...

The entry to this Mid-Century Modern


Our house makes rainbows....

Looking from the front door in. You are seeing the realtor's photos, with the previous owners' furnishings.

Looking back at the front door. See the window? That is an interior patio... laundry room door at the right end, stained glass window at the left end (that makes rainbows).

Looking from dining table past rock wall, past living room to hallway entry (two offices, a bathroom and the master suite).

Peaking around that rock wall... the living room (above photo and below photo).





If we about-face, and head back toward dining... into the kitchen... (again, that window... inner patio)

Kitchen from laundry room doorway... far sliders lead out to pool...




View from sliders toward kitchen and laundry door.....

Laundry room! Right door: out to garden shed and terraced garden. Left side: guest bath, then guest room (which they have as an office).


Below... laundry room view of the inner patio



Heaven :)

This is what they call the family room, just beyond the built-in display bar from the dining room. B has his piano and 2 guitars in here, so for us, in addition to lots of bookshelves and books, it will be called "The Music Room." Very open. (far view...hallway again).

Looking from hallway entry back at The Music Room. Kitchen doorway on left. Right: more sliders out to the pool.

This room is now a soothing aqua, and I am sitting in here with the wall of louvers, typing this little post. I love my new office. :)


I love this hallway... it makes me think... Star Trek... lol But it's so cheery.



Master Bedroom


Master bath

Outside seating area before the pool, just outside the living room...

Night views....




...and my very first flower shot from the new house.... the hummingbirds love these. :)


How about a better visual?
Floorplan:


The bedroom above the master below the living are now offices.

A lot of these are wide-angle Realtor photos. A few are my photos. :)
But you get the gist.
The reason I am not showing the current state of affairs: Box City. And ... we chose not to bring any furniture with us, except 2 beds, 2 desks, a couch and some folding chairs. Our stuff is not Mid-Century Modern, and we will have to start all over. A big adventure, which I will share! Wait til you see the huge fun variety of Mid Century Modern furniture and decor! :)



Done with reno, but a ton of unpacking and organizing awaits. And B isn't getting any less busy as the film gallops toward its last 6 weeks.


I'll share more very soon. I've missed blogging, and am anxious to dive back in! We've already made one adventure to Palm Springs, land of Mid-Century. There will be photos!

Hope you're all having a wonderful August!


~Shephard, so happy :)
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