Shephard's Alley

Monday, March 07, 2011

Skunking Up the Place

I've been a bit silent.
I visited me in the future, and I thought once the golden locks were snipped, the weight of it would drop and we'd be heads above the fog... but it's still a bit foggy.

I've never felt broken before... like there was no way to fix the feeling of "something's just not right." I know the answer is to embrace the bad with the good, and let go of what's holding me back, which is essentially my reluctance to move forward. It's easy to worry about things going wrong when things go so right. In our four year, uninterrupted journey with the puppy and the blond, I've forgotten what it feels like to take the reigns. We both have.

We have a nightly visitor. She waddles across our patio on her way to skunky adventures. We watch her from the comfort of our couch, and laugh. Skunks are so cute. We named her "SmEllen." What if she has babies like the above? That brings a smile to my heart. But those of you who know me, know where my mind goes next:

A previous post of mine: * Skunk Medicine * (link).

I did that post so long ago, read if you like. It resonates so strongly. B and I re-read it last night, and I began to think about my magnets - those beliefs that draw to me my experiences and exchanges. I need a tune-up badly. I thought a vacation in Hawaii, far away, to just relax, would be a good tune-up. But I'd just return to all of the above. You can't run from yourself. No amount of time off would change the internal.

"Skunk" advises (see link to post) thinking about spraying in the direction of the things you want to repel. And focusing on what you want to magnetize. People, thoughts, beliefs. What have I absorbed that is not really mine in the last couple years? I don't know what the new magnets need to be right now, but I know that I have neglected taking the wheel and that's the first step. While I haven't been untrue to myself or who I am at all... I have been too passive.

I need to do some serious Spring Cleaning of the mind.

And get rid of what's holding me back... The Past.

Two quotes come to mind:

"Almost everybody walks around with a vast burden of imaginary limitations inside his head. While the burden remains, success is as difficult to achieve as the conquest of Mount Everest with a sack of rocks tied to to your back."

- J.H. Brennan, Irish Author

and....

"What if we just acted like everything was easy?"

- Mary Anne Radmacher

More photo posts soon,

~Shephard

Labels: Of Mice and Mondays