Sunday, July 24, 2011

Chloe



A furry little angel was born March 15th, 2011.
Her mission: be a lovable smoochy spazz
 and cheer B&S
 and be a best buddy to Oboe.



Pretty Girl....  Silver Tabby & White.  :)



She likes to get up close and personal...



...and insists on having clean fums.



She loves Oboe, and vice versa. They play together daily.



The New Kitten Bed by Canon. 
For your favorite little Copy Cat.



She's the perfect addition to any deskset...




...enjoys lime green chairs and kitty massage.






...and matching spotted beds




and playtime with buddy Oboe...



Likes to be picked up and carried. . .




... keeps an eye on her dads in the yard...




And promises to be ...
just what we needed in our lives.
We love her dearly already, and hope she'll
be with us for a couple decades at least.

~Shephard

Labels:

posted by Shephard @
1:58 PM | Alley Grafitti (click here to comment) 6

Friday, July 22, 2011

My So Called Yard



We're renovating our back yard.  Big time.
Right now, we have lots of dirt, and some plants... lighting, irrigation soon.  Ground cover and pebbles and whatnot.  It had a pool, and lots of cement to start with, and a very messy sideyard.  But what do you do with all that?  So many choices. We're happy with the directions we're going. I don't have any photos yet, cuz it's a mess...  it definitely does not look like this:


But I can share ideas and choices, and interesting photos.
We're doing a fire pit.  Not too unlike the one below:



Lots of choices for the fire-tempered glass rocks that go in it...  I wonder what color Shephard chose? (they don't make purple).



There will also be a fountain (think, modern, metal wall with colored trays spilling water into a basin). 




 We're excited, but the renovation has been under way since late January. Oy.

This week I've been looking for outdoor couches and lounge chairs and tables etc.
Thought I'd share my exploration of the wild array of things people can put in their yards.

For our four lounge chairs (chaise) we chose the soon to be defunct Alfresco line from CandB.  Photo below is the lounge, with the Cayenne colored cushion (matches our orange striped C&B umbrella).  I include the photo above that shows what's UNDER the cushion:  their "natural finish" lounge-chair slats (it's actually not wood, but a poly!). 

I love this magenta bench...  I'm still thinking, because it might actually look nice with two chairs we bought....

These chairs, in lilac (pictured). They're called "Forest Chairs."  We love them. We got two and will put a little table between. :)




Our yard is very midcentury, very Palm Springs.  So that means there are a lot of designs and styles we just can't do... like this....






And then there's the set below which is just TOO modern and strange for me.
Blech.


But I love this... wish we had the room to do this:


And things like this... belong beach-side, or at least ocean-view:



I love these... strange shape maybe, but very cozy and private:

 




If this were a color, I'd love it:


I don't know what to make of this.  I guess... it might look fun in an Asian themed yard, maybe. Very odd and complicated.


Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers?




But our actual conversation area of the yard, with a firepit, is based on this magazine photo.It will be very close to this.  We don't have the white stucco of course.  But... we are using that wood... Ipe -- "ee-pay" (a Brazilian farmed teak, hard wood).  

  

They say we are maybe 3 weeks from completion.  Good gravy, I hope so.

I promise to share fun photos! :) 
Hope everyone's Sunday is peaceful/fun/restful.

B did a new icon for me today.  And I've changed a few things visually on the blog here to reflect some of the changes.  Did you notice? :)

~Shephard :)

Labels:

posted by Shephard @
12:30 PM | Alley Grafitti (click here to comment) 6

Monday, July 18, 2011

Cat People vs. Dog People




We've had workers in the house and yard since January. Yesterday, there were 21 different people working in the yard throughout the day. 

But... regardless of how this makes us feel, the world is the same world.

And yet we feel like our lives are chaos! 
But that really isn't true.

What's true is that things are a mess, dissheveled and chaotic: our schedules, our yard, my desk, our communication with all these people occasionally. . . but not our lives.  Not the world.  Not reality.  

Really, not much has changed.
Well, except for this:


(Chloe is adjusting to her new home quite well, and Oboe loves her.  But that's a story for another post. )

I started thinking about people who believe that life is Chaos (random/no meaning) vs. people who believe in Order (things that happen have a purpose and a meaning).  It's rather like the difference between Cat People and Dog People.




Dog People... have faithful, dependable, reliable, loyal companions, who follow their lead with little question,  who bend to their lives and their wills.  It's pretty much "Leader of the Pack" and the Dog Person is pretty much 100% in charge.  Unwavering devotion to one perspective, one leader, one follower.



Cat People... are comfortable with the independance of cats  --  it's not about control and obedience but rather a bit of sharing of wills and intentions.  Cats do what they do, and Cat People adjust.  Cat People do what they do, and the cats adjust.  Ultimately, there is a measure of control, but cats cannot be controlled 100% and Cat People embrace that.  Devotion to one perspective not needed.



Likewise....
Those who believe in a random life of chaos where nothing has meaning... have a philosophy that explains everything and nothing, one that suits them no matter what happens to them, versatile and comforting, and requires no understanding and no change in their behavior.  Life follows the leader, no adaptation of perspective required.  Just like Dog People.


Those who believe in a reality of order and meaning, have to adjust and adapt and accept the independence of reality  ... with a heightened importance placed on perspective... a sharing of wills and intentions...   Just like Cat People.  They embrace what Reality is, and find their comfort in perspective.



No value judgements are intended on either. Just perspective.  .

But Reality ... is not really as random when you are able to separate yourself from the things in motion in your life. And Reality... is certainly not meaningful unless you pay attention to how it impacts your life through perspective. 

EDIT:  Of course this is a metaphor, and is not really about who likes dogs and who likes cats... or animals at all.  It's about people who feel the need to see the world as black and white.  The more sure someone is about life's answers, the less sure I am of that person.  A balance of both perspectives is likely the best medicine.      

Confusing?  I think we need to add another animal metaphor.

Fish are in The Stream, and can swim where they want to... but... The Stream is going to go where it goes... the fish doesn't have to understand that.   But it would sure help the fish make better choices if he did.


Our life only looks like chaos.  There's plenty of meaning and order found in perspective. 


~Shephard :)

Labels:

posted by Shephard @
11:16 PM | Alley Grafitti (click here to comment) 5

Monday, July 11, 2011

Respecting the River's Course

 
 


The River of Life finds resolve in its natural course... 


Gotta love facebook.  
It opens wide the door to multiple daily chances to interact with people you might not otherwise. 

This week's snafu was caused because I remove things someone posted on my profile page.  I keep my page clean.  Oh, I do leave a random post by someone else, a video, an info alert, but mostly, I respond to posts, and then a few days later, I remove posts by others.  

It's nothing personal.  I think it's partially because I don't like everyone seeing every conversation or interaction I have with everyone, and partially just a tidying thing.  But... facebook is a window into my life, and frankly, some of the people I've friended are acquaintences and haven't earned the right to see and read everything that's going on in my life, or wouldn't even understand some comments from my close friends.


So.... we got back from a 10-day visit with relatives, Golly had just died, we weren't in good spirits, an acquaintence made a comment about a TV show on my page.   I didn't respond, and after a day or so took it down, and thought, I'll just respond in a nice note. When I removed the post ...he replaced it with a neutral but dejected comment on my page.  I responded, mentioned Golly dying and our 10 day "vacation" and how thrashed we were.  No response from him.  I removed that post.  He then unfriended me, and now refuses to answer email or accept the above explanation.


I realize that it's for my own good, for the better. 
Because altho I have absolutely NOTHING against this person, I've always known we don't connect on any deep levels.  This person reacting so extremely is a wonderful sign post from the Universe: "Your intuition about this person was right on the nose; there's no deep connection there."



And yet the drama of it still makes me want to resolve it. 
Not the friendship.  But the misunderstanding.  The unresolve.

My friend Wendy and I always talk about our compulsion to resolve things... it sometimes makes things worse or at the least, cements our involvement.  The compulsion is the hope that you can make the person understand, that you can say the right thing, and they will understand.  But... I've learned over the last decade or so, that I should first evaluate the relationship and decide if it's worth the outlay of energy and investment... especially if the person shows no signs of adult resolution skills. 

I like a tidy life.   I always try to resolve.  Even against better judgment sometimes.




The fact that this trivial situation is enough to end a friendship illustrates the value he placed on my friendship.   And that's okay.  It has nothing to do with me.  It's his value system ...and I have my own.  We're not ALL meant to be best buddies.  Call it Natural Selection... the natural course of the river.  I am protected by these natural laws.




You can't make people understand.  
Many people in history have nobly died trying.

For me, this week's message is loud and clear:
Who you are...and who they are... will make the relationship take its natural course, just like a river,  if you learn when to resolve, and when to step out of the way.  

And no matter how much you interfere, no matter how much you invest or try... the river will find a way to get where it was going in the first place.


~Shephard :)



Labels:

posted by Shephard @
7:22 PM | Alley Grafitti (click here to comment) 7

Thursday, July 07, 2011

Good God, Y'all


We were poolside, relaxing in our purple adirondacks on Saturday, reading quietly, practicing for our [distant] old age.  B was finishing Frank Herbert's Dune (re-reading), and I was reading a book that was both comforting and unsettling:  It was called   Good Without God: What A Billion Nonreligous People Do Believe.  We didn't stay quiet for long.

I didn't know that Secular Humanism includes beliefs that range from spiritual to atheist.  From Atheist and Secular Humanist is quite the gamut for one category!  Anyway,  Humanists bascially believe people know good from bad independantly of the need for religion to define and police it.  That's all.  So far, this book (I'm not finished yet) is a defense against people pointing judgemental fingers at the nonreligious and saying they can't be "good" without religion. 


Choosing to Believe
Ultimately, it's all about what makes you feel safe and comforted.
It's such a simple thing.  I hope all of you reading this have beliefs that make you feel safe and comforted in your life.  I do.  For me, what I find reasonable and conforting is any belief that points me toward being a better person. And I choose to believe that whatever is (or isn't) controling the Universe is not likely to share the human foibles of bigotry, vanity and pettiness.  (imagine that)


The author defines the dignity of being a good person as follows:  

1.  High Self-Awareness.
2.  Willingness to assume responsibility for one's own life and aviod surrendering responsibility to any other person or institution.
3.  Refusal to find one's identity in any possession or achievement (job, role, etc).
4.  The sense that one's behavior is worthy of imitation by others.

Clearly, honesty with self is a given in using the above.  
AND, #2 would be the biggest downfall in organized religious and political groups.
Let's be clear tho: #2 isn't saying that one doesn't listen and evaluate and agree with... it uses the word SURRENDER and RESPONSIBILITY.

I don't think I'd have thought of describing the sum total of these guidelines as "dignity,"  but it would seem that those 4 qualities move a person in the direction of goodness, compassion and responsibility. The things that dignify a human life.

The author's argument is that a person can be good without god. 
And I agree. 



What God Really Thinks
Who knows? If there is a god above, sitting on a lofty cloud, judging each and every one...  it's ridiculous to ascribe negative human characteristics like VANITY to him.   Let's take it literally: if you're a good and compassionate, kind and loving person... why wouldn't he want you in his heaven?  Because you weren't sure he existed?  Because you used your brain that he gave you and had doubts?  Because you didn't have kids and fell in love with someone of the same sex?  Do we personally think less of a sibling or friend who doesn't attribute all that they are to their father?  No?  Than why would God? That would be vanity. Christianity professes belief in a vain god. And they don't even realize it.

Myself,  I don't have any problems until someone points a finger at me and says "You're not a good person because you don't believe what I believe."   It's as simple as that. 

Another surprise.  Secular Humanism isn't new.
The following is ascribed to ancient Sanskrit peoples (Lokayata and Carvaka): Those who beg and berate and shame us to believe in "x" religion/belief almost always have their own self-serving agenda. 

That level of awareness, that long ago. Amazing.  In other words -- we are often asked to believe not because it's true or good, but because our support/allegiance/validation is important to those asking us.  Imagine how illuminating it would be for everyone if we simply asked WHY a group or organization needed us to support and believe them?  But I guess that would require we ascribe to at least guidelines 1 and 2 above. 

I had a lovely conversation with a new friend yesterday. 
And she said that since none of us can know anything for sure, why torture ourselves with the question of faith?  It was refreshing to hear someone else echo the things I've been thinking about recently.  Why not just say, the only thing that matters is what I leave behind.... a good, compassionate life that touched people and helped people.  If there is a heaven and a god, that choice alone should be worthy of whatever entry to whatever goodness lies beyond this mortal coil.  If there's not, we've made the world a better place.

I am not as arrogantly sure as some atheists I've met, or as ungroundedly poetic as some New Agers I've met, or as unquestioningly devout as some religious people I've met.  I'm just not sure.  And I'm just not sure it's important to be sure.  I'm too busy trying to be a good person, as best I can.

Good Without God: What a Billion Nonreligious People Do Believe.
I hope there are a billion people who believe this.  I really do. 

~Shephard





Labels:

posted by Shephard @
4:23 PM | Alley Grafitti (click here to comment) 7