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Monday, August 29, 2011
All That Glitters is Not Gold
As we threw our small house-warming get-together recently, surrounded by loving friends who were so happy for us in our home, I couldn't help but think how little even some of our closest friends were aware of what was required of us to get this far. I'm sure it looks quite effortless to most people who know us. Perhaps because we are so positive-minded. But it was an exhaustingly long haul to get to this point.
Neither of us dreamed that getting what we set out to create would be so utterly draining and would strip away so much of the serenity of our lives. I remember watching bios on, for example, celebrities, whose lives run away with them, and I certainly rarely ever felt what I would describe as "deep sympathy" for them. And I don't want or expect sympathy from anyone either. But the insight I've gained is a perspective shared by few. I feel like if I do share this (despite how personal), maybe someday someone out there in blogland will read it and feel comforted and gain some insight of their own.
It's funny how the lives of others are so often mirrors for us to learn from.
When we traveled to Australia with a certain very sweet celebrity duo, we got glimpses into their lives that made more of an impact on me than either of them will ever realize.
For starters, and I mean this in the nicest way possible, after seeing what they must go through, I don't begrudge them any of their demands, requirements or eccentricities. They are commodities, and it seems as though people are looking out for them, but truly, when it comes down to it, it's a business and they are stuck carving out whatever peace, privilege and happiness they can carve amidst the push-me-pull-you of celebrity. Might sound a bit schmalzy, but I hope they can guard some corner of themselves and never lose the genuine sweetness I got glimpses of.
We got to get off the Hollywood Train for a while. But they're permanent passengers. I totally see how people get dependant on drugs and addictions and scandals in the process, or give it up and drop out of the public eye. Through a very small window, I was able to glimpse and experience some of what they must deal with in addition to what B has to deal with to make the entire film. It exhausted both of us (granted it was 2 films in a row). I don't know how they manage it as a constant necessary evil. I could see when they were tired. I could see them retreat a bit. I understood maybe more than they realized.
I have watched myself go through a gamut of reactions over the past 4 crazy years: from elation and deep gratitude and generosity to resentment and anger and helpless resignation. But always, I return to my center of gratitude. Sometimes, the highs are as high as the lows are low, but we couldn't have one without the other. Most of what happened to us was because of conscious choices on our part. So there you have it. We may not have known what sleeping in those beds would feel like, but we made them and had to lie in them. I wouldn't trade any of it, no matter how stressful and exhuasting. I like where we are right now. It was totally worth it.
If you've read this far, I hope you got something from all this. Perhaps it's the realization that everyone, no matter how glittery gold their lives look, is dealing with their own relative bundle of challenges. It's definitely one of the things I learned as I process these 4 years.
Even tho Blondie is past-tense, the effects linger. B has become someone different at work. His job entails so much more responsibility than is obvious to most, and it continues to impact our lives each week. We've learned so much, but the entire process has changed us irrovocably. Priorities. What we allow ourseleves to willingly suffer in the way of others has changed dramatically.
We'll feel rested soon, and enjoy the plateau until it's time to gear up for the next onslaught. So much to do between now and then. We'll continue to "...make a parade of every moment." Must squeeze as much joy and adventure out of life as we can.
I'm betting those who sustain... have figured it all out and found a way to stay buoyant. Like Genghis Khan said: If you can't find a way, make one. I look back, and that's what we've been doing. You make the road by walking on it.
~Shephard :)
posted by Shephard @ 
Monday, August 15, 2011
Bulletin Board in the Clouds
I've had the overpowering urge to unclutter my life lately.
I discovered something fun and innovative that anyone can use to add a little creativity and focus to life. But I'll get to that.
If you were to see my office (and you will see it soon, when the rest of the furniture arrives), it would look a bit cluttery at the moment. The Container Store is one of my favorite stores. I love a place for everything, and everything in its place. My office is in flux til the furniture arrives. Things that are cluttering my world are books and papers and things that don't have a home. Soon, they have a home.
Frozen. I need to unfreeze everything.
On my computer, I keep folders and folders and folders full of artwork and quotes and images and photos and information that is inspiring or useful. Chaos, no matter how I label and bury the folders.
Along comes Pinterest.
Have you heard of it?
Imagine having an unlimited amount of virtual bulletin boards to keep track of everything you find and want to remember! You join the Pinterest community (no Kool-Aid involved), and they show you how to one-click install a simple "pin it" function onto your computer browser. From that point forward, you can pin any idea or image or info to any of your virtual boards. In any category, or make one up and name your own board!
I think its potential is under-appreciated, under-used and under-shared.
Here is a simple cross-section of some of my boards. You can't see everything on each board. just the 9 most recent things I posted, but you get the gist. If you were on Pinterest tho, you could open up my boards and view everything. You can share, re-pin it your own boards, leave a comment, like it, etc.
In looking through my computer, I find hundreds of photos I've saved from the internet for future reference or just because I like them. These images wouldn't be cluttering my computer if stored on Pinterest. In addition to that, I can create boards for future ideas and products that I like, and even tho it's just an image on my board, there's always a link burried that will take me back to where I first found the image. I'll never lose the info that way.
Here's an example of opening up my "Imaginary House" board that I created. It's simply images of homes and decor that I love... for future reference.
Everything from products in the home to plants in the yard, to doors and drapes and furniture, or even color palettes, or just a photo of a home I love. Anything I want.
One of my favorite boards is my Words and Quotes board. I love collecting quotes or sayings that make me think, make me remember priorities, or even make me laugh. If I can find a visual for them, I can keep them all in one place. You'l also note with the board open, you can see the titles of my other boards, and see icons for others whom I visit.
Here's an example (above) of a friend's boards. The ideas are limitless really.
One board I am planning to do is more like a vision board. A board that keeps me focused on things I want to do and accomplish. I like the idea of a board that helps me focus on what I want to create in my life. But I'd also add to it things I already have and want to maintain. I think I'll call it my "Quality of Life" board. Yes. That will be my next board, I think.
Like any tool, it's what you make of it. But I see it helping me get organized and find things more easily. Not to mention the endless potential to discover new things.
I like that it's organizational. I like that I can explore boards in an amazing array of categories. I like that it can be social. I like that I can share anything I pin on FB as well. Or not. The choices are all mine. And I get to share. Brilliant.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays
Monday, August 08, 2011
Mighty Anthills
My perspective is so screwed up the last couple days.And I have no excuses but exhaustion really.
I've had some pretty good reminders lately that my problems are anthills compared to most people's mountains. But sometimes your problems look bigger to you because you lack a larger problem to put it into perspective. That's why we are surrounded by others with varying levels of issues and problems. To offer us perspective.
Laura Branigan's "SELF CONTROL" just came on my iTunes library.
I get the message. I need to be my own best parent.
My problems are so easy. So simple.
I need to embrace them, hold them closely and really appreciate them for their diminutive, temporary placement in my life. Anthills look like MOUNTAINS to the ants, but to others with bigger mountains, they are just anthills. I need to be grateful for my anthills. It's what that book is always telling us, really... Don't Sweat the Small Stuff... and it's almost ALL small stuff. Almost.
In retrospect though... being pumeled by a bunch of small stuff can feel like a hail-storm. I've been waiting (more or less patiently) for it to stop, enduring and trying to keep my attitude above the positive equator line. End is in sight.
Today's lesson is brought to you by rampant lack of professionalism and/or apathy/incompetence in the craftsman and service industry.
And I'm grateful to learn it in manageable doses.
~Shephard
Monday, August 01, 2011
Protecting What I Care About
I have been surrounded by situations where someone else "drops the ball" repeatedly. It's a 3-part recipe of disrespect, incompetence and negligence. But that's not what this post is about. It's about what is really going on. When something continuously happens, I tend to look for something valuable in the experience for me to examine/learn.
Things get resolved eventually.
So there's the bigger lesson here:
No matter how f'ed up some people or situations are, they can't touch your Highest Good. I believe this, because time and again, I've seen things eventually right themselves and work in the direction I needed most (even if I didn't realize I needed that direction). This whole thing is about trusting and keeping the eye on the big picture.
The energy and attitude you put out there has a way of difusing and repelling those who don't mesh what what you're doing/creating. Their efforts and attitude stand out like a sore thumb against what you're trying to create. It's like a big ole sign post from the Universe saying "Pay attention, this doesn't match up, keep your eye on this, and take care of it."
But we get mad instead of just focusing on the task at hand: protecting what we care about. Eventually, things fall into resolve and those causing the problems are repelled.
I could have a cow. I had one Thursday.
We all get angry once in a while. We're human. I could be resentful and holier-than-thou, and cop an attitude of me against them, and feel all justified and victimized. But protecting what I care about is MY job, not theirs. Having a cow wastes my energy. Imagine a world of people who were proactive about getting what they need out of life, with expectations and attitudes placed on the back burner!
Back to reality.
No matter the incompetence of others, I have always been okay in the past, and will likely be okay in the future. The odds are in my favor. I panic or get angry because I feel like I am losing control. That's an illusion, because we never have control over those people to begin with. I will create what I need to happen, one way or another.
What I have learned from the unusual amount of stress B & I have dealt with the past 4 years, is that the best defense is no defense (all those books on Taoism I read stick with me). I wasted too much energy complaining, too much energy freaking out, giving things much more importance and drama than they deserve. If I calmly look to the future, I know it will be the way I need it to be eventually. Embracing the way the world works is easier and more peaceful, even if it isn't always pleasant. I'm verbal about what I need, and I try to look for opportunities and choices that swing things back the direction I need them to go.
It's not always a pleasant journey, protecting what you want/need.
But I read something recently. "Nobody ever said life was easy…they just promised that it would be worth it." (Harvey MacKay). It's totally worth it.
Things will get done when they get done.
Oboe is sick. He will be get better.
The yard is not finished due to incompetence.
B's job is a pain in the ass lately. It'll pass.
We're both tired. We will be fine. We'll be rested again soon.
Life is still good.
And I'll continue to do my job: protecting what I care about.
~Shephard :)
Labels: Of Mice and Mondays